Ever get the feeling of being thrown away? DUMPED, HATED,USELESS & UNWANTED?
Well, right now that is how I am feeling and i can't sort the living shit out of me!! I don't know how to deal with this or how can I get through this. Most of the time I pretend that I'm OK but inside I'm hurting and crying to myself. I've been on my dark side for the past few weeks , acting so weird and doing things that I've never did before. I honestly don't know myself anymore I am now the person that I'm afraid to be. I'm kinda disgusted with myself right now . THIS IS ALL SO WRONG and I'm not happy with it.I want my old life back no, I WANT MY OLD LIFE WITH YOU BACK! When will I realize that this is nothing , that I can never have it (YOU) again. I've been in this kind of situation before but, why does this feel so different? I can't stop thinking about it (YOU) . I think that I should stop and move on but HOW????????? I even cut my hair and drowned myself with liquor, IT DIDN'T HELP.
Sometimes I feel like I'm just being too melodramatic and OA but then I realized WHY DID I LET MYSELF LET YOU GO? WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING ?? WHY DIDN'T I SHOWED YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU ??? I'm out of reasons and tears already all I know is I WANT YOU BACK, I WANT US BACK!!!! I miss everything about us. At night I pray that soon everything will be ok , If only you can read this and if only this can help :(( It's over I can't do anything anymore to have you back. Maybe you found someone better than me , someone who show's you your worth and she's lucky!!! I don't get why I can't stay mad at you maybe because I blame myself for all of this!!
If only I can go back I will try to fix all of this!!!
YES I'm too in love to let it all go.
YES I'm being an EMO here.
YES I still love you.
I wish for your happiness and for mine too.
But I guess I need to let you go.......
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